Learning to fully EMBRACE!

Did you ever get the cramps in your feet or legs when you were a kid? The kind of cramp that is annoying and hurts so bad you can't sleep, it takes hot baths and lots of lotion and rubbing to get relief? I had these when I was a kid and the doctor called it "growing pains", these are physical growing pains. Through out my life I have experienced other type growing pains such as emotional growing pains and spiritual growing pains.  The last year and a half have been made of up growing pain after growing pain. Growing pains are excruciating at times, but just as my parents loved on me comforted me through those pains so has my Heavenly Father comforted me through the last year. A year ago today I thought it would be another day but a decision was made that I had no control over that left me feeling helpless and frustrated, things were not going like I had planned. Isn't it funny how God works? We say we will follow his will and plans and let him do the planning yet as

Okay so I am going to be upfront and honest, this blog is not my typical type blog but its a blog of me being real and authentic. Being real and authentic is something I think all women struggle with so here is my attempt at it, hoping that it will shed light and speak to someones heart like God spoke to my heart tonight. Many people know that over the last 15 years I have struggle and fought the battle of an Eating Disorder. So tonight I was cleaning up my Facebook pictures, because I noticed I was nearing 1000 pictures. I deleted a few albums because well they are of the past and they needed to be cleaned up. Well as I am deleting some older albums I flipped through other old albums like my first trip back to Arkansas after moving to Omaha for grad school, looked through baby pictures of Tanner. Still can't believe Tan Man will be 4 this weekend. So as I am looking through the old picture and posting new pictures the all familiar negative voices start up. Now let me clear som

Okay so it's that time of year again, well at least for me it is, time to go through the closet. For me it is somewhat of a chore, have to bring all my winter clothing up from Arkansas to Nebraska which means I need to move my summers stuff out. It is always so time consuming and such a headache. Because although it may be 40 or 50 degrees here who knows what it will be like in the south 70 or 80. The weather theses days really makes packing a head headache.  Growing up my dad always threatened to take the door of mine and my sisters closet because we never could seem to shut the door. I think back now, why did I have to be a neat freak about my closet? Why did I not just shove everything in the closet? I've done that with parts of my life, compartmentalized it, whatever is behind the door is unseen. I have to pick on my sister I love her oh I love her but that girl I am not sure why she has a closet because it always looks like her closet has thrown up in her room from the

Crashing waves seem fun until they take you under. Earlier this year I went to Puerta Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. I love the ocean because it reminds me how BIG God really is and when you take the size of the ocean versus the size of teeny tiny size of sand sometimes thats how small I feel in such a big world but God loves me the same. While sitting on the beach taking in the sun I decided to go out and get in the ocean it was nice and refreshing that is until a wave came up over my head and knocked my feet out from underneath me. Not to mention it caused me to loose my sunglasses :( but God is faithful even in the small things and 20 mins later a guy found my sunglasses on the bottom of the ocean! How many times have you been faced with an obstacle that appear to be like this wave. You are enjoying life living it the fullest and then SWOOSH you have your feet knocked out from underneath you and your left with millions of questions. Questions like "why now?" or if you are

Have you ever asked a child what they wanted to be when they grow up? I have and it usually ends with a little chuckle because a week later it will be something different. I mean come on, I was in college and was asked what do you want to be when you grow up and every other semester my mind changed, that's why I changed my major at least 6 times (that was on paper through the registrar's office). And somehow I graduated with an IT degree and although I love computers and they interest me, I do not want to sit networking computers together for the rest of my life. I want to be a "history maker" not in a big flashy way either. I want to be a "seed planter", I am not all about "harvesting". That is why I've chosen the counseling field. With each client I will have the opportunity to live out a life as a Christian in front of them and if opportunity presents to share Gods love I'll gladly walk through the door. I recently read a friends faceb

So this blog is a little different then well my previous posts. For a week now I've noticed when I bust out in song that this one song is the first one to come out. For those of you who have not spent much time around me I always have a song in my head which has a way of finding its way to my lips and well to be honest sometimes I bust out the moves. Anytime I hear the song Party in the USA by Miley (don't be hatin' and don't stop reading it gets better) I so bust out the moves we created while in Africa last year. It maybe labeled ADHD or ADD but this girl can't help but move when music is playing. I am that weird person in the car next to you at the stop light who looks like I'm talking to myself and probably looks like I'm having a seizures but in all reality most day's I'm just praising my God and when you've been delivered, set free, forgiven, and much more like I have you just can't help but sing praises to Him in gratitude. My most rec

How many of us have a 1 year plan? Or maybe you are like me and even have a 5 year plan. How do you react when something in you well thought out plan goes completely opposite? I heard a great message this morning from Jeremiah 29. We often quote Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But what does this mean in context what was going on in Babylon then and why is God promising this....Okay so if you want to hear the whole message I'll leave it up to Dr. Todd Steffy in a few days it will be up on the website and facebook http://www.TheSanctuaryChurch.tv Anytime I hear a messaged preached on destiny, purpose, calling or plans I get excited yet terrified. Why because like I said earlier I have a "5 year plan" and I am in year 2 1/2 of it :) But can I tell you that although I have goals in mind I've pretty much decided to throw this plan out t

Today is a special day first off because little Logan is 6 months old. I love seeing Logan and Tanner they are both miracle babies and I am so blessed to be their Nonna! So what does this have to do with a year ago well nothing really except that my sister was pregnant. But its one reason today is special.  I mentioned to my mom today that this time last year I was in Africa. It still amazes me to think back on those 10 days. I was blessed with amazing friendships I mean who knew I'd go to Africa and leave with adopted "big sisters". The group of people I went with are very special people and we share a unique and special bond. When you have no electricity and your only entertainment is rocking out to Miley Cyrus while wearing a headlamp. What can I say we had lots of fun in our huts, I received the award for bed hopping and the title Scout due to my awesome camping skills. These memories will never be erased and it excites me that one day I will get to share my pictures

Have you ever felt like your dreams were...well...just that a dream? I certainly have. I feel as though I am a visionary I like to envision things, I love to sit around and day dream. It's okay I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I'm okay with that. Even at night when I am sleeping I have very vivid dreams, for the most part when I wake up I can tell you about my dreams in detail. I don't know what it all means or if it means anything at all. For me I just embrace it I feel as the dreams are my creative side. I have gotten to a point though where my dreams start to move into reality. While spending time in California for several months I learned a lot about myself. A wise person name Heather once led a group and in this group we were told to write out a dream we had, it didn't matter if it seemed impossible or not but just write it down. She then had as write out what we could do a year out in order to see that dream come true, and then 6 months out, 3 months o

There are a million ideas and thoughts running through my mind right now. And as much as I would love to share everyone of them, well let's face it its already past midnight. I just wanted to share a little bit of inspiration that I have gained over the last several days. So here are 5 things I have come to realize this week and they are not in any particular order.... 1) God never ceases to amaze me - He places the right people at the right place at the right time. Okay this is simple right yeah well did I mention that its all in His timing and places and they don't always align with what I thought it would be like. 2) Chasing dreams doesn't have to be like chasing a fly - When God has called you to do something He has already prepared and equipped you. I love the saying "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called" 3) Disciple although is painful is often enjoyable  - there is nothing I like more than a humbling experience...okay so that's not

I am working on getting this blog up and running again. It is my attempt to update everyone on my life in a few or more posts. There has been much change but through it all God continues to show me that even in my weakest moments He is still strong. He continues to guide me and stands by me even when I want to tuck my tail and just run away. So until my next blog I will leave you with this.... This continues to encourage me :) So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:6-7