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Sit back…buckle up…hold on!

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This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions and decisions! A month ago I was given the opportunity to go to the AACC conference in Nashville, TN. The conference started on Wednesday and that Thursday God began to speak to my heart about transition and moving. Tennessee was never on my radar of places to live. Dallas, Texas…Yes…Nashville, Tennessee…NO! So I did what I normally do in these types of situations…I argued with God and then began to make my own plans! Can I just say that this NEVER works out!! Throughout the day on Friday this idea and feeling that God was going to move me to Tennessee grew stronger but I pushed the thoughts aside because I needed to focus on this conference and besides these thoughts were nuts! Friday night after the conference I was down stairs looking at all of the resources in the exhibitors area when I had this divine appointment ( read more about it by clicking here ). I went back to the hotel that night very perplexed and at this point
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STOP Chasing the Dream that's not Yours

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C.S Lewis "You are NEVER  too old to set another goal , or to dream a new dream ." There is a part of my counselor brain that lights up when I read this quote. In therapy we have our clients set goals as a part of their treatment plan. The therapist and client work together on developing the goals. The therapist then walks along side the client as they make strides to get from point A to point B. While many of us would love for it to be a straight line and easy to obtain, that's not reality.  The second part that lights up my brain as I read this quote is the word dream . For this blog we are going to use this definition of dream - cherished aspiration, ambition, ideal. We all have an idea of how we would like life to go. I believe we all have aspirations and ambitions as well. Now some might lack motivation or struggle to visualize these aspirations or ambitions as possibilities but we can't argue that we all have an "ideal". So it's fair to say
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Longterm affects of a life with ED

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The harsh reality is eating disorders have longterm affects! The sad part of this reality is that it seems years too late when someone is finally able to hear and accept this reality. You see when someone is in the middle of their eating disorder telling them that their kidneys, heart, stomach, brain etc will be affected by their choices are just simply words that seem like a vapor. They don't hear it, it doesn't sink in and the blunt honest truth is....they don't care! It does not matter! Why? Why don't they care? Why doesn't it matter? Because the emotional pain they are hiding or trying to numb out with the disorder screams much louder than your quiet concern as you try to help the one you love by sharing what consequences are to follow. For many they want to stop, I wanted to quick wrecking havoc on my body all the time but I couldn't. I was stuck. I was addicted. I was SICK! It saddens me the way we look at mental health issues. We are doing better as a w
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Hosting the Holy Spirit

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Just listened to a great message on Hosting the Holy Spirit. A host invites you over, makes an effort, prepares before the person gets there. He questioned the listeners with several questions such as "Do you make room throughout your day to tune into the Holy Spirit? Does the Holy Spirit feel welcomed in your life?" David understood the value of the Holy Spirit in Psalms 50 he stated "don't take your Holy Spirit form me". The key scripture was John 1:29  29  The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Lamb of God,  who takes away the sin of the world!   30  This is the one I meant when I said, ‘A man who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’   31  I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel.” 32  Then John gave this testimony: “I saw the Spirit come down from heaven as a dove and remain on him (emphasis added) .   33  And I myself did not know hi
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Thy Will

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I don't question God. I don't question His Faithfulness I don't question His love for me I don't question God. There are times when life is going smoothly and out of no where you are hit with a curve ball that hits you so hard that you feel like you can't breath even if it is just for a second. There are times when we are struck with situations that are out of our control.  And for an analytical, reasoning person such as myself when you are hit with these both at the same time and you feel so confused, and every way you turn and try to reason it there is not a reason or justification. It's simply out of ones control. For some they can keep moving forward and not miss a beat, for some it leaves them lifeless and unable to get out of bed. For the analytical, overthinkers again you try to make sense of it all but you just can't. So you begin to move towards accepting it for what it is even without understanding and some days you do great with it and then t
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5 Years Ago - From Despair to Hope

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I woke up late today, I had to jump out of bed throw on clothes and run out the door. I hate when I starting my day rushed and frantic as it throws off my schedule. I had a busy morning, I saw student after student without breaks. About 11:15am it hit me. Today is December 10th. For some it's just another day for me it is a very monumental day. Tears began to run down my face despite my will as I wanted to stuff them back I had a lunch meeting coming up with a student and needed to get it together. The Holy Spirit had other plans.  December 10th, 2010 at about 11:15am I had departed the Phoenix airport with my mom and was headed towards LA. That afternoon I walked in the doors of Pacific Shores Hospital (PSH) in Oxnard, CA and signed myself in to round 2 of treatment for anorexia.  I was angry, bitter, yet numb. I was so ashamed that I had to be back. I knew that day that I would be in treatment for Christmas and New Years. I also knew that I would miss the birth of my neph
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I'm a Perfectly, Imperfect Mom

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At time's I've been known to be a neat freak. Although I don't think my mother would agree. There were always arguments growing up between my sister and I of whose clothing or belongings were on the floor in the room or who made the mess in the bedroom we shared. We have since laughed about this and I still often say "Cristina is the messy one". She is a mom who goes to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry coming out of the baskets, unmade beds etc. And as a single young adult there was part of me that didn't understand this. You see I have some OCD tendencies that I think are learned behaviors. I struggle to go to bed at night without making sure all the dishes are in the dish washer or are clean. I try but often fail to make sure the house is picked up and I use to be able to clean my entire house in just a few hours so never really understood why my sister didn't constantly have laundry going and why she had dishes in the dishwasher. You see t
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