Eliminating Shame and Finding Recovery
A million thoughts race through my head as my fingers press the keys on the keyboard. I never thought I would make it to this place. I thought this place was for so many others but not for me. I tried to get here before just to mess up and fall right back down which led to such a deep feeling of shame. I remember telling myself so many times “why even bother”! At the age of 9 years old I discovered purging. I didn’t know that’s what it was called and I had no idea what path it would lead me down. It was later in life that I would learn to restrict my food intake. No one knew the battle that I was facing as I put on the mask each day and smiled and let others think I was okay. When in reality I was in a very dark lonely place of counting calories, working out to the point of exhaustion and sometimes blacking out. I was finally able to share my struggle with a close friend at the time she was my youth pastor. She helped me through so much, she prayed with me and held me accou