Learning to fully EMBRACE!

Today's blog isn't long or super profound but I hope you find it encouraging!  I believe God speaks to each of us in different ways at different times. Sometimes he speaks to us to through His word, sometimes through the lyrics of a song, sometimes it is through a message or prayer there are endless ways that he speaks to us and sometimes I believe he uses total strangers as angels to speak and minister to our spirit man. The other night while laying in the hospital bed I was listening to Laura Cooksey "Rest" trying to calm my anxieties and just rest in the Lord and in walked my nurse. And thats when it all started. She asked me what music I was listening too. You see I don't know about you all but some times I get timid and shy and instead of boldly saying "Christian" music I more or less just whisper it. But I told her who I was listening too and thats when she then proceeded to tell me that I am "much to vibrant to let the enemy to take a...

A friend of mine reminded me not too long ago that "all good things must come to an end" and that's exactly what is happening with Graduate School and my time at Grace University. As I write this blog I am flooded with many emotions just to name a few ... overwhelmed, excited, and nervous. I've been doing a lot of thinking back over the last 3 1/2 years and wow its no longer a light at the end of the tunnel but its reality this is really happening. So I want to take a little trip down memory lane. This time in 2009 Graduate School was a mere thought. I remember I was working for Sandy and Parker DeVore as the Director of Tours. I remember talking to Sandy about the different possibilities of Graduate school but at that point in my life I was looking at becoming a Registered Dietian and going to school in Conway Arkansas at UCA. Omaha well that was just a mystery trip I was planning I knew nothing about Omaha. My job came to an end with Royalty Tour, at the beginning ...

Ever had a dream that you woke up and wanted to go back to sleep so you could keep dreaming? I certainly have. But what about your dreams in life your heart desires ever wish you could snap your fingers and see them happen? I've mentioned before that I'm a dreamer, I like to day dream and just think about the future and all the things I want to do in life. Of course I can't spend too much time just thinking I have to do things to put my dreams in action. The last week or so I have really been thinking about my dreams and desires of my heart. There are so many things I want to do in life and sometimes it seems like they are so far out of reach. I often think what it is it going to take to get me to the point of reaching then end goal, and to be honest I sometimes come up empty handed and left with nothing. But I don't stop dreaming and thinking of how it might all play out, of course about the time I have it all figured out and I give my plan to God he says lets do it ...

It's been a while since my last blog. There is much to be updated on so I will do my best to do the short version of where all God has taken me in the 10 months. As I begin this blog tears have started to flood my eyes. I am overwhelmed by God and the healing he has and is doing in my life. I started this blog in 2009 as I started the journey to grad school. In 2009 I had no idea the path and roller coaster i would be jumping on. To recap my journey Aug 2009 I moved to Omaha, NE to attend graduate school at Grace University. As I dove in head first into classes I soon learned that I had issues in my life that needed to be faced. It's amazing how God has to take you away from all you have ever known put you in a totally different state to reveal these things. He has to take us out of our comfort zone sometimes to really do a work in us. Or at least that is what he did for me. I buzzed through my first year of grad school with grace and lots of energy. In Feb 2010 I began worki...

Okay so how many of you are like me and make "note to self". I find myself doing this all the time. So when I saw this picture on Pinterest the other day, which I have to admit is one addiction I just don't quite have YET, I had to grab it. And tonight I'm in the blogging mood and it's the perfect idea to center a blog around. Okay so you are waiting for the picture here it is:  So what are your thoughts? Whats the first thing that came to your mind? For me it was oh thats cute, yep thats a good idea. So I posted it on Facebook and its like the light bulb went off. I read it for the first time really getting what its said "I AM ENOUGH" the good ole "Ed" voice and low self esteem kicks in and then Miss Perfectionism does to but are you? AHH make all the crazy talk stop! YES I AM ENOUGH! How do I know? I know because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am His beloved and just being me is enough. And quite frankly that is all God asks of me is ...

Did you ever get the cramps in your feet or legs when you were a kid? The kind of cramp that is annoying and hurts so bad you can't sleep, it takes hot baths and lots of lotion and rubbing to get relief? I had these when I was a kid and the doctor called it "growing pains", these are physical growing pains. Through out my life I have experienced other type growing pains such as emotional growing pains and spiritual growing pains.  The last year and a half have been made of up growing pain after growing pain. Growing pains are excruciating at times, but just as my parents loved on me comforted me through those pains so has my Heavenly Father comforted me through the last year. A year ago today I thought it would be another day but a decision was made that I had no control over that left me feeling helpless and frustrated, things were not going like I had planned. Isn't it funny how God works? We say we will follow his will and plans and let him do the planning yet as...

Okay so I am going to be upfront and honest, this blog is not my typical type blog but its a blog of me being real and authentic. Being real and authentic is something I think all women struggle with so here is my attempt at it, hoping that it will shed light and speak to someones heart like God spoke to my heart tonight. Many people know that over the last 15 years I have struggle and fought the battle of an Eating Disorder. So tonight I was cleaning up my Facebook pictures, because I noticed I was nearing 1000 pictures. I deleted a few albums because well they are of the past and they needed to be cleaned up. Well as I am deleting some older albums I flipped through other old albums like my first trip back to Arkansas after moving to Omaha for grad school, looked through baby pictures of Tanner. Still can't believe Tan Man will be 4 this weekend. So as I am looking through the old picture and posting new pictures the all familiar negative voices start up. Now let me clear som...

Okay so it's that time of year again, well at least for me it is, time to go through the closet. For me it is somewhat of a chore, have to bring all my winter clothing up from Arkansas to Nebraska which means I need to move my summers stuff out. It is always so time consuming and such a headache. Because although it may be 40 or 50 degrees here who knows what it will be like in the south 70 or 80. The weather theses days really makes packing a head headache.  Growing up my dad always threatened to take the door of mine and my sisters closet because we never could seem to shut the door. I think back now, why did I have to be a neat freak about my closet? Why did I not just shove everything in the closet? I've done that with parts of my life, compartmentalized it, whatever is behind the door is unseen. I have to pick on my sister I love her oh I love her but that girl I am not sure why she has a closet because it always looks like her closet has thrown up in her room from the ...

Crashing waves seem fun until they take you under. Earlier this year I went to Puerta Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. I love the ocean because it reminds me how BIG God really is and when you take the size of the ocean versus the size of teeny tiny size of sand sometimes thats how small I feel in such a big world but God loves me the same. While sitting on the beach taking in the sun I decided to go out and get in the ocean it was nice and refreshing that is until a wave came up over my head and knocked my feet out from underneath me. Not to mention it caused me to loose my sunglasses :( but God is faithful even in the small things and 20 mins later a guy found my sunglasses on the bottom of the ocean! How many times have you been faced with an obstacle that appear to be like this wave. You are enjoying life living it the fullest and then SWOOSH you have your feet knocked out from underneath you and your left with millions of questions. Questions like "why now?" or if you are ...

Have you ever asked a child what they wanted to be when they grow up? I have and it usually ends with a little chuckle because a week later it will be something different. I mean come on, I was in college and was asked what do you want to be when you grow up and every other semester my mind changed, that's why I changed my major at least 6 times (that was on paper through the registrar's office). And somehow I graduated with an IT degree and although I love computers and they interest me, I do not want to sit networking computers together for the rest of my life. I want to be a "history maker" not in a big flashy way either. I want to be a "seed planter", I am not all about "harvesting". That is why I've chosen the counseling field. With each client I will have the opportunity to live out a life as a Christian in front of them and if opportunity presents to share Gods love I'll gladly walk through the door. I recently read a friends faceb...

So this blog is a little different then well my previous posts. For a week now I've noticed when I bust out in song that this one song is the first one to come out. For those of you who have not spent much time around me I always have a song in my head which has a way of finding its way to my lips and well to be honest sometimes I bust out the moves. Anytime I hear the song Party in the USA by Miley (don't be hatin' and don't stop reading it gets better) I so bust out the moves we created while in Africa last year. It maybe labeled ADHD or ADD but this girl can't help but move when music is playing. I am that weird person in the car next to you at the stop light who looks like I'm talking to myself and probably looks like I'm having a seizures but in all reality most day's I'm just praising my God and when you've been delivered, set free, forgiven, and much more like I have you just can't help but sing praises to Him in gratitude. My most rec...

How many of us have a 1 year plan? Or maybe you are like me and even have a 5 year plan. How do you react when something in you well thought out plan goes completely opposite? I heard a great message this morning from Jeremiah 29. We often quote Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But what does this mean in context what was going on in Babylon then and why is God promising this....Okay so if you want to hear the whole message I'll leave it up to Dr. Todd Steffy in a few days it will be up on the website and facebook http://www.TheSanctuaryChurch.tv Anytime I hear a messaged preached on destiny, purpose, calling or plans I get excited yet terrified. Why because like I said earlier I have a "5 year plan" and I am in year 2 1/2 of it :) But can I tell you that although I have goals in mind I've pretty much decided to throw this plan out t...

Today is a special day first off because little Logan is 6 months old. I love seeing Logan and Tanner they are both miracle babies and I am so blessed to be their Nonna! So what does this have to do with a year ago well nothing really except that my sister was pregnant. But its one reason today is special.  I mentioned to my mom today that this time last year I was in Africa. It still amazes me to think back on those 10 days. I was blessed with amazing friendships I mean who knew I'd go to Africa and leave with adopted "big sisters". The group of people I went with are very special people and we share a unique and special bond. When you have no electricity and your only entertainment is rocking out to Miley Cyrus while wearing a headlamp. What can I say we had lots of fun in our huts, I received the award for bed hopping and the title Scout due to my awesome camping skills. These memories will never be erased and it excites me that one day I will get to share my pictures...

Have you ever felt like your dreams were...well...just that a dream? I certainly have. I feel as though I am a visionary I like to envision things, I love to sit around and day dream. It's okay I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I'm okay with that. Even at night when I am sleeping I have very vivid dreams, for the most part when I wake up I can tell you about my dreams in detail. I don't know what it all means or if it means anything at all. For me I just embrace it I feel as the dreams are my creative side. I have gotten to a point though where my dreams start to move into reality. While spending time in California for several months I learned a lot about myself. A wise person name Heather once led a group and in this group we were told to write out a dream we had, it didn't matter if it seemed impossible or not but just write it down. She then had as write out what we could do a year out in order to see that dream come true, and then 6 months out, 3 months o...

There are a million ideas and thoughts running through my mind right now. And as much as I would love to share everyone of them, well let's face it its already past midnight. I just wanted to share a little bit of inspiration that I have gained over the last several days. So here are 5 things I have come to realize this week and they are not in any particular order.... 1) God never ceases to amaze me - He places the right people at the right place at the right time. Okay this is simple right yeah well did I mention that its all in His timing and places and they don't always align with what I thought it would be like. 2) Chasing dreams doesn't have to be like chasing a fly - When God has called you to do something He has already prepared and equipped you. I love the saying "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called" 3) Disciple although is painful is often enjoyable  - there is nothing I like more than a humbling experience...okay so that's not ...

I am working on getting this blog up and running again. It is my attempt to update everyone on my life in a few or more posts. There has been much change but through it all God continues to show me that even in my weakest moments He is still strong. He continues to guide me and stands by me even when I want to tuck my tail and just run away. So until my next blog I will leave you with this.... This continues to encourage me :) So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:6-7

I can not believe that in 3 very short weeks I will be getting on a plane and flying across the ocean and around the world to Africa. It seems surreal to me and it amazes me. God truly gives us the desires of our hearts. I have been waiting to do a mission trip for over 4 years. I believe that any time you begin to step out in faith into something God has called you to you face adversity, and this trip has not been exempt from that. My friend and I signed up for this mission trip in November we immediately started sending out support letters. Having worked in the travel field before I understand the concept of having a set number of people that have to go on the trip in order to cover trip cost. For the Africa trip the number is 15, as of the beginning of April we still were not sure if we were going be able to take the trip. I must say it was a little stressful as we continued to watch airfare go up but could not book a flight until we knew 100% that we had a team of 15. God showed us...

So with a new year I thought I should give my blog a new look, this is just the beginning of new things taken place in my life this year. I am really excited about this year, 21 days into the year and I new relationship are taken place, new beginnings, and new adventures. What is all this new stuff I am talking about? Last semester and well lets just say year was a year of change for me, it was a big monumnetal year as I graduated with my undergaduate degree in May and 3 months later packed up and moved to Omaha. My first semester her at Grace was full of excitement, change and a big cultural shock. Growing up in the Bible Belt meant that there were churches on every street corner and you were sure to find a place where you fit. With in 5 miles of my location there are only 10 Assemblies of God churches and only 8 in which I think they speak English given the names of the churches. Long story short mid-semester after trying church after church I landed at Bellevue Christian Center. A...

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? 'A slave is not greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. They will do all this to you because of me, for the have rejected the One who sent me. They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their since. Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. If i hadn't done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures: 'They hated me without cause'" John 15:18-25 There are so many things we face in...