Learning to fully EMBRACE!

A million thoughts race through my head as my fingers press the keys on the keyboard. I never thought I would make it to this place.   I thought this place was for so many others but not for me. I tried to get here before just to mess up and fall right back down which led to such a deep feeling of shame. I remember telling myself so many times “why even bother”!   At the age of 9 years old I discovered purging. I didn’t know that’s what it was called and I had no idea what path it would lead me down. It was later in life that I would learn to restrict my food intake. No one knew the battle that I was facing as I put on the mask each day and smiled and let others think I was okay. When in reality I was in a very dark lonely place of counting calories, working out to the point of exhaustion and sometimes blacking out.   I was finally able to share my struggle with a close friend at the time she was my youth pastor.   She helped me through so much, she prayed with m...

Okay so it's that time of year again, well at least for me it is, time to go through the closet. For me it is somewhat of a chore, have to bring all my winter clothing up from Arkansas to Nebraska which means I need to move my summers stuff out. It is always so time consuming and such a headache. Because although it may be 40 or 50 degrees here who knows what it will be like in the south 70 or 80. The weather theses days really makes packing a head headache.  Growing up my dad always threatened to take the door of mine and my sisters closet because we never could seem to shut the door. I think back now, why did I have to be a neat freak about my closet? Why did I not just shove everything in the closet? I've done that with parts of my life, compartmentalized it, whatever is behind the door is unseen. I have to pick on my sister I love her oh I love her but that girl I am not sure why she has a closet because it always looks like her closet has thrown up in her room from the ...