Learning to fully EMBRACE!

Here is a blog that I wrote on February 22nd, 2015: Sure God, I’ll do that when I’m married, no problem. This was my first initial response when God began speaking to my heart about becoming a foster parent. It seemed to be a passing thought in October 2014. The thought never crossed my mind that God would be calling me to be a “single parent”. So I didn’t think much of it as I was in the midst of grieving the loss of expectations and ideal relationships. My mind was overwhelmed and my heart was heavy. I was done and ready to check out. I was struggling in many areas of life yet I kept going day after day pushing through the muck. I had to keep going I didn’t have time not too. So to stop and think about being a foster parent well I didn’t have time to stop and think about it nor did I have the energy to entertain the thoughts. I love how even when we are weak and struggling God continues to pursue us because even though I didn’t stop to think or entertain the thought of being...

A million thoughts race through my head as my fingers press the keys on the keyboard. I never thought I would make it to this place.   I thought this place was for so many others but not for me. I tried to get here before just to mess up and fall right back down which led to such a deep feeling of shame. I remember telling myself so many times “why even bother”!   At the age of 9 years old I discovered purging. I didn’t know that’s what it was called and I had no idea what path it would lead me down. It was later in life that I would learn to restrict my food intake. No one knew the battle that I was facing as I put on the mask each day and smiled and let others think I was okay. When in reality I was in a very dark lonely place of counting calories, working out to the point of exhaustion and sometimes blacking out.   I was finally able to share my struggle with a close friend at the time she was my youth pastor.   She helped me through so much, she prayed with m...

Crashing waves seem fun until they take you under. Earlier this year I went to Puerta Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. I love the ocean because it reminds me how BIG God really is and when you take the size of the ocean versus the size of teeny tiny size of sand sometimes thats how small I feel in such a big world but God loves me the same. While sitting on the beach taking in the sun I decided to go out and get in the ocean it was nice and refreshing that is until a wave came up over my head and knocked my feet out from underneath me. Not to mention it caused me to loose my sunglasses :( but God is faithful even in the small things and 20 mins later a guy found my sunglasses on the bottom of the ocean! How many times have you been faced with an obstacle that appear to be like this wave. You are enjoying life living it the fullest and then SWOOSH you have your feet knocked out from underneath you and your left with millions of questions. Questions like "why now?" or if you are ...