Learning to fully EMBRACE!

Okay so how many of you are like me and make "note to self". I find myself doing this all the time. So when I saw this picture on Pinterest the other day, which I have to admit is one addiction I just don't quite have YET, I had to grab it. And tonight I'm in the blogging mood and it's the perfect idea to center a blog around. Okay so you are waiting for the picture here it is:  So what are your thoughts? Whats the first thing that came to your mind? For me it was oh thats cute, yep thats a good idea. So I posted it on Facebook and its like the light bulb went off. I read it for the first time really getting what its said "I AM ENOUGH" the good ole "Ed" voice and low self esteem kicks in and then Miss Perfectionism does to but are you? AHH make all the crazy talk stop! YES I AM ENOUGH! How do I know? I know because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am His beloved and just being me is enough. And quite frankly that is all God asks of me is ...

Did you ever get the cramps in your feet or legs when you were a kid? The kind of cramp that is annoying and hurts so bad you can't sleep, it takes hot baths and lots of lotion and rubbing to get relief? I had these when I was a kid and the doctor called it "growing pains", these are physical growing pains. Through out my life I have experienced other type growing pains such as emotional growing pains and spiritual growing pains.  The last year and a half have been made of up growing pain after growing pain. Growing pains are excruciating at times, but just as my parents loved on me comforted me through those pains so has my Heavenly Father comforted me through the last year. A year ago today I thought it would be another day but a decision was made that I had no control over that left me feeling helpless and frustrated, things were not going like I had planned. Isn't it funny how God works? We say we will follow his will and plans and let him do the planning yet as...

Okay so I am going to be upfront and honest, this blog is not my typical type blog but its a blog of me being real and authentic. Being real and authentic is something I think all women struggle with so here is my attempt at it, hoping that it will shed light and speak to someones heart like God spoke to my heart tonight. Many people know that over the last 15 years I have struggle and fought the battle of an Eating Disorder. So tonight I was cleaning up my Facebook pictures, because I noticed I was nearing 1000 pictures. I deleted a few albums because well they are of the past and they needed to be cleaned up. Well as I am deleting some older albums I flipped through other old albums like my first trip back to Arkansas after moving to Omaha for grad school, looked through baby pictures of Tanner. Still can't believe Tan Man will be 4 this weekend. So as I am looking through the old picture and posting new pictures the all familiar negative voices start up. Now let me clear som...

Okay so it's that time of year again, well at least for me it is, time to go through the closet. For me it is somewhat of a chore, have to bring all my winter clothing up from Arkansas to Nebraska which means I need to move my summers stuff out. It is always so time consuming and such a headache. Because although it may be 40 or 50 degrees here who knows what it will be like in the south 70 or 80. The weather theses days really makes packing a head headache.  Growing up my dad always threatened to take the door of mine and my sisters closet because we never could seem to shut the door. I think back now, why did I have to be a neat freak about my closet? Why did I not just shove everything in the closet? I've done that with parts of my life, compartmentalized it, whatever is behind the door is unseen. I have to pick on my sister I love her oh I love her but that girl I am not sure why she has a closet because it always looks like her closet has thrown up in her room from the ...

Crashing waves seem fun until they take you under. Earlier this year I went to Puerta Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas. I love the ocean because it reminds me how BIG God really is and when you take the size of the ocean versus the size of teeny tiny size of sand sometimes thats how small I feel in such a big world but God loves me the same. While sitting on the beach taking in the sun I decided to go out and get in the ocean it was nice and refreshing that is until a wave came up over my head and knocked my feet out from underneath me. Not to mention it caused me to loose my sunglasses :( but God is faithful even in the small things and 20 mins later a guy found my sunglasses on the bottom of the ocean! How many times have you been faced with an obstacle that appear to be like this wave. You are enjoying life living it the fullest and then SWOOSH you have your feet knocked out from underneath you and your left with millions of questions. Questions like "why now?" or if you are ...

Have you ever asked a child what they wanted to be when they grow up? I have and it usually ends with a little chuckle because a week later it will be something different. I mean come on, I was in college and was asked what do you want to be when you grow up and every other semester my mind changed, that's why I changed my major at least 6 times (that was on paper through the registrar's office). And somehow I graduated with an IT degree and although I love computers and they interest me, I do not want to sit networking computers together for the rest of my life. I want to be a "history maker" not in a big flashy way either. I want to be a "seed planter", I am not all about "harvesting". That is why I've chosen the counseling field. With each client I will have the opportunity to live out a life as a Christian in front of them and if opportunity presents to share Gods love I'll gladly walk through the door. I recently read a friends faceb...

So this blog is a little different then well my previous posts. For a week now I've noticed when I bust out in song that this one song is the first one to come out. For those of you who have not spent much time around me I always have a song in my head which has a way of finding its way to my lips and well to be honest sometimes I bust out the moves. Anytime I hear the song Party in the USA by Miley (don't be hatin' and don't stop reading it gets better) I so bust out the moves we created while in Africa last year. It maybe labeled ADHD or ADD but this girl can't help but move when music is playing. I am that weird person in the car next to you at the stop light who looks like I'm talking to myself and probably looks like I'm having a seizures but in all reality most day's I'm just praising my God and when you've been delivered, set free, forgiven, and much more like I have you just can't help but sing praises to Him in gratitude. My most rec...

How many of us have a 1 year plan? Or maybe you are like me and even have a 5 year plan. How do you react when something in you well thought out plan goes completely opposite? I heard a great message this morning from Jeremiah 29. We often quote Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But what does this mean in context what was going on in Babylon then and why is God promising this....Okay so if you want to hear the whole message I'll leave it up to Dr. Todd Steffy in a few days it will be up on the website and facebook http://www.TheSanctuaryChurch.tv Anytime I hear a messaged preached on destiny, purpose, calling or plans I get excited yet terrified. Why because like I said earlier I have a "5 year plan" and I am in year 2 1/2 of it :) But can I tell you that although I have goals in mind I've pretty much decided to throw this plan out t...

Today is a special day first off because little Logan is 6 months old. I love seeing Logan and Tanner they are both miracle babies and I am so blessed to be their Nonna! So what does this have to do with a year ago well nothing really except that my sister was pregnant. But its one reason today is special.  I mentioned to my mom today that this time last year I was in Africa. It still amazes me to think back on those 10 days. I was blessed with amazing friendships I mean who knew I'd go to Africa and leave with adopted "big sisters". The group of people I went with are very special people and we share a unique and special bond. When you have no electricity and your only entertainment is rocking out to Miley Cyrus while wearing a headlamp. What can I say we had lots of fun in our huts, I received the award for bed hopping and the title Scout due to my awesome camping skills. These memories will never be erased and it excites me that one day I will get to share my pictures...

Have you ever felt like your dreams were...well...just that a dream? I certainly have. I feel as though I am a visionary I like to envision things, I love to sit around and day dream. It's okay I'm sure you think I'm crazy but I'm okay with that. Even at night when I am sleeping I have very vivid dreams, for the most part when I wake up I can tell you about my dreams in detail. I don't know what it all means or if it means anything at all. For me I just embrace it I feel as the dreams are my creative side. I have gotten to a point though where my dreams start to move into reality. While spending time in California for several months I learned a lot about myself. A wise person name Heather once led a group and in this group we were told to write out a dream we had, it didn't matter if it seemed impossible or not but just write it down. She then had as write out what we could do a year out in order to see that dream come true, and then 6 months out, 3 months o...

There are a million ideas and thoughts running through my mind right now. And as much as I would love to share everyone of them, well let's face it its already past midnight. I just wanted to share a little bit of inspiration that I have gained over the last several days. So here are 5 things I have come to realize this week and they are not in any particular order.... 1) God never ceases to amaze me - He places the right people at the right place at the right time. Okay this is simple right yeah well did I mention that its all in His timing and places and they don't always align with what I thought it would be like. 2) Chasing dreams doesn't have to be like chasing a fly - When God has called you to do something He has already prepared and equipped you. I love the saying "He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called" 3) Disciple although is painful is often enjoyable  - there is nothing I like more than a humbling experience...okay so that's not ...

I am working on getting this blog up and running again. It is my attempt to update everyone on my life in a few or more posts. There has been much change but through it all God continues to show me that even in my weakest moments He is still strong. He continues to guide me and stands by me even when I want to tuck my tail and just run away. So until my next blog I will leave you with this.... This continues to encourage me :) So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:6-7

I can not believe that in 3 very short weeks I will be getting on a plane and flying across the ocean and around the world to Africa. It seems surreal to me and it amazes me. God truly gives us the desires of our hearts. I have been waiting to do a mission trip for over 4 years. I believe that any time you begin to step out in faith into something God has called you to you face adversity, and this trip has not been exempt from that. My friend and I signed up for this mission trip in November we immediately started sending out support letters. Having worked in the travel field before I understand the concept of having a set number of people that have to go on the trip in order to cover trip cost. For the Africa trip the number is 15, as of the beginning of April we still were not sure if we were going be able to take the trip. I must say it was a little stressful as we continued to watch airfare go up but could not book a flight until we knew 100% that we had a team of 15. God showed us...

So with a new year I thought I should give my blog a new look, this is just the beginning of new things taken place in my life this year. I am really excited about this year, 21 days into the year and I new relationship are taken place, new beginnings, and new adventures. What is all this new stuff I am talking about? Last semester and well lets just say year was a year of change for me, it was a big monumnetal year as I graduated with my undergaduate degree in May and 3 months later packed up and moved to Omaha. My first semester her at Grace was full of excitement, change and a big cultural shock. Growing up in the Bible Belt meant that there were churches on every street corner and you were sure to find a place where you fit. With in 5 miles of my location there are only 10 Assemblies of God churches and only 8 in which I think they speak English given the names of the churches. Long story short mid-semester after trying church after church I landed at Bellevue Christian Center. A...

"If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? 'A slave is not greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. They will do all this to you because of me, for the have rejected the One who sent me. They would not be guilty if I had not come and spoken to them. But now they have no excuse for their since. Anyone who hates me also hates my Father. If i hadn't done such miraculous signs among them that no one else could do, they would not be guilty. But as it is, they have seen everything I did, yet they still hate me and my Father. This fulfills what is written in their Scriptures: 'They hated me without cause'" John 15:18-25 There are so many things we face in...

Before I get to the real "meat" of this post I want to let everyone know that I am thoroughly enjoying Omaha, Nebraska. The weather here has been amazing and pretty cool, the low last night was 48 degrees. I do miss family and friends but the adjusting process is going great. I am making new friendships with some of the girls that are in class with me and with ones that live here on campus that are also graduate students. One of the most amazing things thus far is how God works in "mysterious ways". God has reconnected me with a friend that I met over 4 years ago. In January 2005, I went to DC to represent Arkansas at a Presidential leadership conference. Upon arriving to DC we were quickly split into groups, these would be the people we would spend the remainder of the week with we'd go sightseeing with these people as well as work together in a group to try and be "elected" for president (our group did win and for a week we were the "white house...

Although it is almost 3:00 am and I should be in bed asleep, many thoughts and emotions are tangled in my mind. So my hope is that not only does this blog allow me to get my thoughts out there where they are tangible and readable where I can get some sleep, my hope is that some of these thoughts would touch others lives as they have mine. I have now attended my Personal Evaluation class twice and only have 3 more meetings before it is concluded. It is set up as a 5 week course although I wish it was a 15 week course like many of our other classes. This class is very challenging (not academically but spiritually), the objectives of the class are to allow us as "soon to be counselors" to understand and explain our strengths, our emotional healthy spirituality, our personality type, and motivational gifting. By completion of the 5 week class we should also understand the impact of that our family origin has had on our personal development, identify how we are likely to interact ...

This past Sunday was a TOUGH day, saying goodbye is never easy. Sunday morning we had an awesome service and once again God showed me how incredibly blessed I am to be apart of Bethel Worship Centers congregation. God poured out incredible healing and purpose on Sunday. I really will miss being there every week, I love my Sunday school class, and I am not one that normally says much but am just a sponge absorbing it all in, but we were talking about dealing with issues in our lives and walking in purpose, and I had a chance to talk about moving to Omaha and what I've gone through to get to this point where I am stepping into the calling and purpose God created for me. And I shared a little bit of this in Sunday School. But would like to also share it with those that were not there. 4 years ago, I was very sick with migraines, was laying in a hospital bed and had been there for 7 days. At this point in time no one knew I had an eating disorder and the doctors could not explain the ...